November 7, 2009
Yesterday I flew to Florida for a planned 10 day trip for a total of approximately 23 events with Foursquare Churches, Divisions and Pastors. It is a trip that I have been planning for quite some time. What I didn't plan on was the call that I received from my Sister at 8:25 am. When I saw her name on the caller ID, I answered excitedly because she was supposed to call me when she got my father home from the hospital. He has been in the hospital for 5 weeks, following an open heart surgery. The recovery from the surgery itself went relatively well, but he had several complications including pneumonia, an infection and extreme dizziness. The doctors were permitting him to go home this weekend on a "day pass" to see how he did and possibly to release him on Tuesday for good.
When I answered the phone, my sister really didn't need to say anything because I knew immediately what she was going to tell me. She was extremely upset and couldn't gain her composure. When she finally was able to speak, her words shot through every fiber of my existence..."daddy has died". I am so thankful for my sister and she is one of the greatest people I know. She has been with my Daddy every day and night for the past five weeks of his life and has been an amazing gift to him during this last season of his life on the earth. She has nurtured him, cared for him and served him as few people would for another. She literally put her life on hold in order to care for my Father.
So, I enter the season of my life without my earthly father. I guess I always knew that this day would come, but somehow the impact of it has affected me completely different than I would have anticipated. I have experienced a deep sense of loss, even loneliness and an acute awareness that my life has been completely altered and will never again be the same. Just knowing that my daddy isn't where he has always been causes a strange sense of void for me. I have yet to make the trip home (we leave in the morning), but I'm almost regretting going into his workshop...to see his inactive tools, unfinished projects and the essence of who my father was. He was extremely talented with his hands and could make projects come to life. He loved his workshop and spent all of his extra time there. I can't begin to tell you the stories, the jokes, the serious discussions and even the nonsense that went on in that workshop. My daddy loved life in his own way and lived it on his own terms! I believe that during the last many years of his life, my Father thoroughly enjoyed his life and who he was. He basically did what he wanted to do, when he wanted to do and how he wanted to do it!
Growing up, my Daddy was a pretty tough guy! He grew up tough and joined the military at an early age. He carried a lot of hurt and issues into his marriage and into his family. But time has a way of mellowing us all and my Dad was no exception. His heart became extremely tender and my children only knew him to be a big teddy bear, complete with his "old man's beard"...he eventually took on a look of an "old mountain man" and he would have had it no other way. I remember as a teenager of being embarrassed by my Father at different times, but I have come to realize that he didn't fit the typical mold. Now, instead of being embarrassed, I am deeply appreciative of the fact that he had enough self-esteem and confidence to just absolutely be himself.
Looking at my life, I realize that my Dad has shaped me in a lot of ways. There are ways that I think now and my outlook on life that was strategically shaped by my Daddy and I'm not even sure that He was doing it intentionally as much as it was intuitively. I can still remember sitting by my Daddy in his red, Ford truck and him allowing me to shift the gears on the column. At times, he would also let me steer the truck and I bet I logged at least 100,000 miles up and down the old dirt road beside his shop prior to getting my driver's license. I have said many times that even though I didn't grow up "in" the country, I definitely grew up country. The values and mindsets that were invested into me gave me an appreciation for the simpler things of life and how to appreciate people from every walk of life.
I think what strikes me the most about the events of today is that my Father has abandoned his earthly body and entered into the awesome and amazing Presence of the Lord. Over the years, i have witnessed to my Father and talked with him about his salvation. He has always assured me of his personal relationship with the Lord, but there has never really been any evident fruit. A couple of weeks ago, prior to his surgery, my brother-in-law witnessed to my Father and prayed the prayer of salvation with him. In his conversation with my Father, he asked him if he was praying because they wanted him to....my Dad's response was that he prayed because he needed to. It was very obvious that God was doing something unique in my Dad's heart because every time we prayed with him, he would begin to cry. We never saw that in my Daddy before.
As humans, we see death as this prolonged event that includes arrangements, visitations, caskets, funerals and cemeteries. Death is actually none of those things. Those are simply our responses to this "transitional event". I distinctly remember the Lord speaking to me that death is nothing more than the crossing over a threshold...and literally takes that long. For the Believer, one moment you are on this side of life and the very next, explode into life eternal and into the Presence of God!
Even as I write this, I still live in a body that is aging day by day and experiences the issues of life in an imperfect body that exists in an imperfect world. Not my Daddy...he is no longer an old man, he no longer has a heart that is defective, he no longer carries the aches and pains in his body or has the torment of past failures, mistakes or regrets. He knows in fullness and completeness. He has an awareness of everything that I have been preaching and studying and preparing my life for in the past 31 years. He has been reunited with his family members that have gone on before, and today is his first day of who he really is and will be for all of eternity!
Although the next few days will be filled with grief and mourning because of my Daddy's natural departure, I also have a deep, abiding peace and a joy of what God has done in his life. I heard an unmistakable word from the Lord today that none of the events of the past few weeks caught God off guard. In fact, I am convinced that the last few weeks of my Father's life on the earth were strategically orchestrated by God. He was surrounded by friends and family and the love that each of them have for my Daddy was very apparent. It was during this time that my Daddy gave his heart to the Lord and in my opinion, Heaven just got sweeter...there's an old mountain man up there and I'm sure that he's telling "preacher jokes"!!!
