One of the struggles that resulted from the high blood pressure was a series of anxiety panic attacks. With the overwhelming emotion that you are having a heart attack, and then with my doctor telling me that he thought I had an aortic anuerysm (but the MRI came back good), I found myself believing that I was at the very edge and heaven was closer than ever. I am no longer having the physcial symptoms of the panic attacks, but still battle from time to time with some of the anxiety issues. It's apparent to me that I need to take several days off back to back to just give my body some rest.
When you feel like you are that close to death, it's easy to become consumed with all of the issues that accompany those battles. As I am coming out of this and hearing from the Lord on these issues, I want to share this word that the Lord gave to me. I thought it important to give you some background on what this word is about. It is deeply personal, but I believe that it will minister to you...enjoy!
Son, your life is my greatest gift to you on the earth..as you have walked through the challenges of life itself - you have contemplated what death is and what lies beyond death. Even as you read what Solomon said, that is wise, but TODAY - I call you to begin contemplating on life and living. You were not created to die, but to live! I have not called you to the dead, but to the living. My prosperity of life is upon you, I am the giver of long life and the day will come that you will leave your earthly tabernacle, but know this, as sure as the day you were born and had not one ounce of control or say so, so will that day be - it will not be a day of agony or alarm for you. So, leave that to me! Your job is to live and live abundantly...when I call you home, it will not be fearful or unexpected and you will be ready in every part of who you are. Your entire being will long to be with me, the reason the prospect of death now is so frightening is because it is not your time, day or season. So, don't let that consume you, in fact; contemplate life with me, but never be consumed with the aspect of death itself, for it is nothing more than a minute glitch in time. What the world and earthly creatures experience as death is not what it is about at all, for it is literally one second of your entire existence and then you explode into life and joy as you never have known. So, don't be distracted or consumed or get in fear. Your life...the very moments and minutes of your life are in my hand and in my heart. Pursue life, live life, enjoy life, honor life, be alive, be well - be pleasing to me and honor my word - for the best is yet to come!!
2 comments:
Thank you, Pastor Scott for sharing your heart. I, too have been going through the same thing and God is faithful to us even when we are unfaithful and begin to believe a lie , rather than the truth of His Word. Sometimes we forget we have an enemy, but God is greater and His Word is more powerful than any lies of the enemy.
Wow, I have been having anxiety attacts; with pressure and pounding heart. Tears are never far away. I know it is all stress and feel a failure that as a Christian I am being overwhelmed by this. My thoughts on death are never far away, a mixture of fear and longing for peace. Anger is in there too. Thank you for sharing this word. I know too that nothing can separate us from the love of God...
MM
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